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Friday, December 23, 2011

Top Ten Tips for positive parenting in 2012

Number 5.  There's a secret to bringing up a healthy, happy, confident teenager.

...And when someone tells me what it is, I promise to post it here first!

Seriously, life is much too complicated for "one size fits all" solutions.  One thing is clear: teenagers face more life stresses than ever before, and one can make a pretty good case that in 2012 it will be at least as hard to be a 16 year old than to be an adult.  At the moment, one teenager I know is worrying about preparing a concert, writing the equivalent of a college thesis, taking final exams and finishing a half dozen college applications in about as many days.  All of this while finding some time for friends, food and sleep.

It seems to me that in these times the best parents must be full of thoughtful contradiction.  We have to be flexible, but also consistent.  We need to support our kids' efforts at independence while providing a safety net from seriously bad decisions. We have to be really good listeners, but not try to be a peer. We need to encourage our teenagers to strive for excellence, but make it clear that we will not love them less when  they fail.  Finally, we need to know when to spur them on and when to suggest that they pump the brakes.  In other words, we need to help them find and value balance in their lives.

Well, speaking of centeredness, just 39 hours until Christmas morning.  Last minute shopping anyone?  Best wishes to all in the Season of Peace!

For more on this, check out the American Academy of Pediatrics website at...http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/pages/Teen-Resilience.aspx
  

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